Why shouldn’t we miss the battle of emotions vs. reason?

Because only when we try to tame the tiger inside us we can make progress.

We make a thousand of choices every day. These all choices affect our lives in some way. And at every moment, we make choices as best we can. But on what basis do we make decisions? And how does such a decision-making process look like?

The differentiation process itself can be described as follows: through the senses, we realize that „there is something“. When thinking about it we find out „what is it“, our feelings will add to it the values of „how it is“. But what do we do with that? How to work with this information? American neuroscientist Paul D. MacLean proposed the theory that we have three brains and these brains have been formed through the process of evolution: the reptilian brain, the mammalian brain and the human brain. The oldest one is the reptilian brain. The reptilian brain controls basic physiological functions and the typical manifestation is instinctive behaviour and the behaviour which is not reflected. Later, a limbic system has been evolved to our mammalian ancestors. This part of the brain is responsible for, among other things, emotions, memories and habits. Sometimes it’s called „tiger brain“. The third one, the youngest part of our brain, is the human brain – the neocortex. This part allows us to learn language, to make plans, and to tame our emotions – to keep the tiger at bay. Okay, let’s recap this – we’re in a certain situation, let’s say we can somehow decode and understand what’s going on, and at the same time, somehow, we have an idea of how the human brain works. But how to decide at this moment, in this specific situation? To tame the tiger or unleash our emotions?

If we consider the today’s society mindset, we may think that emotions are perceived as irrational impulses, and if we describe someone as a person who is emotional, we can add the criticism of his/her lack of judgement. It seems that the most valuable skill is the ability to control emotions. It seems that people, who are adored by our today’s society, are those who are able to control their emotions or they are admired for not having any emotions. And we often do work that we don’t really enjoy, we generally take actions that are not our own, we tolerate people we don’t like. And why? That we might be able to stop one day, to build a house, to plant a tree, to start a family, to leave there something which is long lasting. So that we might be able to stop one day and create something what could make sense somehow to many of us. However, we might ask if this taming of emotions is reasonable.

And how does it look like if we are guided mostly or only by reason? If rationalism dominates, people make decisions on purpose, in general, like players in game theory. Game-theoretic models aim to not only analyse conflict situations, but by creating a mathematical model of a specific conflict and by calculations, they search for the best possible strategies for specific participants in such conflicts. It seems that we find an ideal solution. However, can we reduce the life situations to a simple mixture of mathematical equations from which, if we add specific people in specific situations as variables, we can calculate the ideal solution to the problem we may be dealing with? And if we find such a solution based on a mathematical model, we can ask – what will it bring to us? It seems that reason is conservative and obviously tends to minimize risk. Because, if we are guided by reason, we are only willing to take risks when there is a high probability of success, and to be honest this is rare. It is difficult to grow when guided only by reason. According to psychobiologist Jeremy Dean, it is emotion, not intellect, that drives us forward. „Emotions are not just some primitive animal instincts,“ Dean is busting one of the myths. „Thanks to them, we are constantly reflecting on the reality. When we make a mistake, it hits us emotionally, so to avoid similar feelings, we try to learn from the mistake,“ he explains.

On the other hand, we can ask – if an emotion is triggered, how long does it last? Emotions don’t have long lasting effect. We can imagine them like a wave on the sea, they come and go. If we make decisions when we are at the peak of an emotional wave, it is almost certain that we will be captured by the whispers of emotion, of desire. But if we wait for a while, the emotions will fade, and we will engage the thinking brain – reason – in the process of making decisions. Should we listen only to what our emotions, as transmitters of certain information, tell us? Or should we engage reason? Who’s supposed to know?

But let’s look at the whole thing from a slightly different perspective. We have two legs, two arms, two eyes, two ears, even the mouth is composed of two jaws, otherwise we would not bite anything, even the brain has two hemispheres, even the heart has two ventricles. And we work dually with each other. We need each other, this is the only way to create new life. To sum up, one half always complements the second. Therefore, we cannot be surprised that our decision-making process is based on a dual principle as well. The human ability to make decisions, to form a judgment and to act on its basis, contains a contradiction, which is represented by the action of reason and emotion. Decision is hence a balancing of the opposites and this balancing is a necessary condition for growth in general. It is the conflict that contains the collision of rival parties, under the pressure of which, facing an uncomfortable situation, the human being is born.

However, there is an uncertainty accompanying all of this. When we make decision about something, we are facing an uncertainty. We simply don’t know what’s coming. Being caught in uncertainty is not comfortable, but such situation has the power to transform a person. It seems to be the opportunity par excellence to understand who I am. The more extreme the contradiction is present, the deeper the uncertainty is added, the more potential for growth is developed. The human originality is the result of a conflict that always takes place within the individual. The result of a conflict which is emerged again and again when making decisions. We are defined by our own choices and actions. And the best decisions are made at the point where reason and emotion collide – when the wave of emotions is fading and the wave of reason is arriving.

And thinking about this, we should add another essential ingredient – patience. Patience, which does not seem to be something natural for us but instead it is the ability to think in long-term perspective. And if patience is not an innate quality, but the ability to think in the long-term perspective, it could be the ability to handle all the conflicts, whether they occur within the outside world or within ourselves, and go to the point where everything seems to collide, no matter what this point looks like, because this collision is the so-called the heart of the matter. And irrationality then seems to be an inseparable partner to rationality, who together form a life path of understanding.

Let’s not miss the right moment, but let’s also wait for it.

V.